Keiper Keeps Kickin’… Unfortunately

BY JUSTIN KOZLOSKI ’14
Senior Editor

“Did you get all your classes?”

“Yeah, but they’re all in Keiper.”

“Oh, that’s awful. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Conversations of this nature happen all across campus at any given time when Keiper is mentioned.

We all probably know at this point that Keiper is the most unfortunate building to have a class in. The desks are older than God and so small and uncomfortable that one leaves class both in need of a serious spinal readjustment and with an eating disorder as a result of being shoved yourself into a desk designed for people with a median height of five foot nothing.

Not only is the furniture old and disintegrating, the entire building needs serious work, if not a complete reconstruction. It is one of the hottest buildings in the summer and coldest in the winter due to its outdated, and therefore inefficient, vent system. The stairs also provide a significant danger because eons of students shuffling off to the 50 to 120 minutes (or 180 minutes for the seriously unfortunate souls who happen to have a three hour foundations class or senior seminar) of hell on earth have created a glossy, smooth staircase which the slightest amount of moisture turns into a hellish slide of death.

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As a joint English-BOS Major, I have to spend at least half of my time in this most uncomfortable of locale. I find myself dreading classes I would normally enjoy, simply because of the physical discomfort I will have to endure for the entire class period. For the amount we pay for tuition, I would prefer to choose a class based on on its content or the severity of the professor as opposed to its location.

While I am not entirely sure how the school determines where money goes, I am aware of the fact that my BOS200 classroom has a 60 inch flat-screen T.V. on literally every single wall. This, to me, seems slightly over-the- top, considering Keiper can’t even
get desks that don’t cause scoliosis. In my mind, it would seem logical to not buy three of the 10 TVs in a single BOS classroom and get Keiper some good desks. Even this small improvement would greatly improve the quality of the classes in that building and students would be less likely to wince in pain every time they see Keiper on their schedule.

My final little suggestion is that if the College, for God knows what reason, refuses to at least get new desks for the hellhole also known as Keiper, it could make a really impressive senior gift. Just putting it out there for future classes to consider.

justin.kozloski@fandm.edu.

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