The Onion Dip: Struggling white upper-middle class student disproves white privilege

By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist 

LANCASTER—Jenna Robertson, a junior pre-med student from Glastonbury, Connecticut, confided to her three best friends in her sorority that she doesn’t believe white privilege is real. Robertson continuously cited her difficult life as proof.

“Like, I’m working 8 hours a week plus I’m a full-time student at F&M.” said Jenna. “Honestly, I’m so stressed out I can barely function.” One of Jenna’s friends, Nicole, defended her friend saying, “Jenna is dealing with so much personal stuff right now. It’s hard to feel like you’re privileged when you’re so mentally drained.”

Family issues, medical school applications, and organic chemistry have all contributed to Jenna’s struggles. It is reported that Jenna is strongly considering writing a courageous op-ed piece in the Odyssey to disprove the myth of white privilege.

When asked if she had any last words, Jenna said, “The struggle is real, which is why white privilege is not.”

Senior Kyle Huntberry is a satirical columnist. His email is khuntzbe@fandm.edu.

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