Social Media is Kinda Horrid
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a week ago, rumors started spreading that TikTok would be shutting down. Again.…
Kiwibots: National Hockey League, Harvard, and Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Last semester, The College Reporter published an investigative video by Berkley Frost exploring the…
I Took the Drunk Bus to Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I took the drunk bus this weekend. I don’t know why I did it.…
What is Wrong With the Buildings at F&M?!
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I would like to preface this article by saying that, yes, I was that…
The 2024 Diplomat’s Guide to Academic Excellence and Wild Nights
Photo courtesy of Adam Whitlock via Unsplash. The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Welcome back Diplomats to the Spring 2024…
So, You Want to Join X in 2024? Here’s What You Should Know.
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. So, you want to join Twitter, one of the largest social media platforms in…
A New Connection
Dear Diary, I’ve found my husband. He’s perfect if perfect is even possible – he’s made me think it is. He goes to a college nearby, and we have 96…
Welcome, Diplomats!
It’s that time of year! Target is packed with dorm essentials you’ll purchase in bulk and then leave to gather dust under your painfully elevated bed. The dining hall is…
The Onion Dip: Missing Persons Report
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon us… William Shakespeare is missing. Height: 6 foot Weight: Paper…
The One True D1 Sport.
By Tira Mercadante || Op-Ed Layout Assistant If you haven’t heard by now, Franklin & Marshall has its own Surf Team. I had the amazing opportunity to get to know…
Hot New Food Account Alert: @samimakesfoodsamieatsfood
By Samantha Milowitz || Op-Eds Editor Hi guys! Sami here! Welcome to my new food account on Insta!!!! For those that are new here, let me catch you up to…
Frats are Thriving on F&M’s Campus
By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist It has come to my attention that a whopping number of 14 new members have rushed and joined the two active frats on…
Who Needs the Music Program Anyways?
By Fiorella Comparini Donoso || Contributing Writer Due to the global pandemic, F&M has been scrounging for pennies recently. I knew things were going downhill when the upperclassmen told me…
Why You Should Date A Townie
By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist Who is a “townie” exactly? Well, Urban Dictionary defines a townie as, “a person living in the community who does not attend or…
In The Event of a Pandemic
By Samantha Milowitz || Op-Eds Editor Hi there! Are you an incoming senior in college? Having a good time, cruising along; you’ve made your friends, you see the light at…