He’s infected!
President Rich has been the most recent victim infected with baby boo. He has been doing the dance everywhere, scaring the crap out of students. He has been isolated and…
Man eats curling stone
During the curling event at the Olympics, Collin Corvet knew he had lost his chance to bring Vatican City a medal following his failure to meet the weight requirement, so…
Lottery or Labubu?
Anne Litherway had a recent encounter with a woman who was willing to give her a winning lottery ticket for her 24 karat gold labubu. Not only was the ticket…
No one has been accepted?
Regular admissions acceptances have been released! In record numbers, Franklin and Marshall is accepting 0 applicants as every single applicant wrote their supplemental essay, about a role model, about Tonka…
The Real Rich Rush…
It’s official, sororities and fraternities have given out bids and new members are officially being initiated! We asked for an update from the president of the Alpha Ligma Zeta. He…
Idol!!
In the latest round of F&M idol, a surprise guest made an appearance. Lorde shushed the Chessmen! They were serenading during her number and she shushed the shit out of…
It’s a girl!
That’s right, the man, the myth and the legend had a baby. Punksatawny Phil has reproduced! When asked by insiders about his new child, he had this to say, “spring…