Ruins of Registration
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. At almost midnight on several early November nights, it was silent at Franklin and…
Am I the Only One Still Voting for Biden?
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s election season, and it seems like all anyone can talk about is who…
Wellness Center Closed on the Weekends: How This Betters the Lives of Students
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a month ago, I moved into F&M. A few days in, following endless…
This Air STINKS!
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s a cool, crisp Thursday morning in mid-September, and you’re all ready to set…
Should You Spend on the Vend?
Photo courtesy of Nora Williams. The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. That deep blue neon lighting casts its light out…
Think Your Dorm Assignment Was Bad This Year? I Had to Live in DHall
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I know a lot of first-year students have had horrible experiences with housing. However,…
Adherants of Eclipse-Worshipping Mystery Cult Spotted on Hartman Green
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. “Sol lucebit, et Lunam circum Terram orbit, nam nisi vage definitae res fient.” – Malintellixus…
Social Media is Kinda Horrid
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a week ago, rumors started spreading that TikTok would be shutting down. Again.…
Kiwibots: National Hockey League, Harvard, and Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Last semester, The College Reporter published an investigative video by Berkley Frost exploring the…
I Took the Drunk Bus to Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I took the drunk bus this weekend. I don’t know why I did it.…
What is Wrong With the Buildings at F&M?!
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I would like to preface this article by saying that, yes, I was that…
The 2024 Diplomat’s Guide to Academic Excellence and Wild Nights
Photo courtesy of Adam Whitlock via Unsplash. The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Welcome back Diplomats to the Spring 2024…
Deceptive Degrees: Unmasking the Diplomat Email Scammer
As college students, we are likely the last generation of children who didn’t get an iPhone when they practically first learned to talk. Instead, we happily got toys from Disney…
So, You Want to Join X in 2024? Here’s What You Should Know.
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. So, you want to join Twitter, one of the largest social media platforms in…
A Look Inside Hullabaloo: The Vintage F&M Satire Magazine (HOLIDAY EDITION)
All Photos Courtesy of Lily Vining Alumnus Hank Eberle ’54 gifted Investigative Reporter Lily Vining with an F&M student publication that was established in 1894! Look at the photos below…