Q:  I’ve been experiencing some troubles with my roommates after sharing an apartment these past few weeks. It started when I tried putting together a nice meal for me and my roommates to kick off the new semester. I made my family’s secret recipe plum pudding because it’s really special to me and reminds me of my grandmother, who was a firefighter. Anyway, I made this pudding and they all seemed to enjoy it, but a few days later there was an odd smell in the kitchen. I found someone had dumped their plum pudding into the fern and left it to rot. I felt so betrayed. 

I think I overreacted a little bit because once I saw it, I took one of my roommate’s packs of markers she uses for bullet journaling and I hid it in the fern. My roommate hasn’t mentioned it yet, but I’ve been seeing her look around the apartment for something for the past few weeks and I know she’s looking for her markers. My pride is telling me to leave the markers in the fern with the pudding and if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll never disrespect my family or our traditions ever again. At the end of the day, though, I would like to get past this. I just don’t know how. Please help me.



My dear PuddingluvR, I am all for some genuine fuckery. So, here’s my advice: leave the markers in the fern and make some more pudding. If anything, it’ll teach her a lesson.



P.S. Care to send in a copy of that recipe? I’ve never tried plum pudding.

Q: Dear Elle, What is love? baby don’t hurt me. don’t hurt me. no more.

If you genuinely listen to Haddaway, please send me your number….



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