Full Staff Opinion

Mankind can be cruel. The human condition is forever marked by conflict and contestation, by trials and tyrants. Each man must make their mark, and choose their destiny: Will you cozy up to The Man? Or will you fight the good fight and rage against the machine? Well,  we of The College Reporter are standing up to be counted. It’s time to be the change we wish to see in the world. We are saying enough is enough.

And we want the old College Center food court back.

Are we the only ones who feel this way? And if so, how on Earth is that possible? Are you eating at the same food court as we are? We’re not entirely sure who specifically was behind the changes in the College Center food option, but we have some questions for you.

First, when we filled out those customer surveys last semester, was there a significant majority of students who demanded you replace our dearly departed Panini Junction with an ice cream stall? Are you kidding us?

Was there seriously such an overwhelming demand for even more sweets and junk food that you had no choice but to bow under the pressure?

Did people seriously tell you they wanted you to replace Vocelli’s with some sort of bastardized, off-brand Quizno’s?

Has it occurred to you that, now that students can’t get the paninis and sandwiches their carboloaded-hearts crave here at the College Center, the lines at Zime have been overwhelmed? Do you even care? 

Have you noticed that the ice cream stall always has a few bored workers standing around it when no one ever patronizes it? And Salsa Rico, the heavyweight of the College Center kitchen, is constantly understaffed?

And why has the salad bar been so fickly in and out of commission since this Spring? How difficult can it be to keep the only healthy option in this building open, especially when we feel like you maybe just have to put spinach in a bowl to do so?

These words may be harsh. But they are from our hearts. Our clogged, unhealthy hearts. The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man, with a fork. Oh, and speaking of forks: there should also be more than one silverware dispenser. Some of us can never find it, and we look like fools.