The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously.
It’s a cool, crisp Thursday morning in mid-September, and you’re all ready to set off towards your 8:30 class. You leave your dorm and take one step into the great outdoors. Ah, it’s finally fall again here in Lancaster, you say to yourself. It’s that lovely time of year when the whole world smells like cool breezes, falling leaves, pumpkin spice lattes, and ––– wait a second, manure?!
Yep, that’s just another day in Lancaster. If this has happened to you, then you might be wondering why the world around you often smells like the inside of a farm animal. If you haven’t noticed this odor before, you might want to schedule an appointment to get your nose checked.
If you’ve taken a single class in the ENE department at F&M, your professor has probably mentioned that Lancaster has some of the worst air quality in the state of Pennsylvania, even in the whole country. So, that explains why it smells so bad. But why is the air quality so poor in our city?
Based on the fact that the air usually smells like you have your nose pressed up against the backside of a horse, you probably guessed the leading cause of Lancaster’s air quality issues is agriculture. Particles of fertilizer and other agricultural chemicals from the surrounding area fill the air and drift downwind until they arrive right here in the valleys of Lancaster County.
Have you ever looked at a factory and wondered what all that stuff spewing out into the air really was? I sure have. In fact, I’ve had nightmares about it. Whatever it is, it sure doesn’t look like it does any good to air quality. Factories and power plants are constantly releasing this mysterious white gas, and they are also a major contributor to the high amount of soot contaminating our air.
In the United States, we rely heavily on our cars to take us places. In my Environment and Human Values class last year, we stood out on Harrisburg Avenue and counted the number of cars, bikes, and pedestrians that went by in fifteen minutes. I don’t remember the exact numbers, but I can assure you there were over a hundred cars, just a few pedestrians, and maybe one single bike. So, it’s not surprising that cars are another major source of soot polluting our air.
As broke college students who don’t own farms or factories, a lot of these problems are out of our control, but there are still ways to help make our air cleaner. Taking action and promoting new regulations on industrial facilities and automobiles is one way to make a difference. If that seems intimidating and you want to start smaller, turning down your heat is one way to help. Home heating is another contributing factor to our poor air quality, and F&M dorms are already as hot as the surface of the sun to begin with. Limiting your use of cars and choosing other transportation options also makes a huge difference. Tomorrow, instead of driving from your Crow apartment to your class in Keiper, try walking instead. I do it every day. It’s really not that bad.
If you’ve ever called maintenance thinking one of those odor-releasing mealworms died in your vent (yeah, that totally never happened to me), (it did,) then don’t worry, you’re not hallucinating smells. When that fertilizer stench comes through the vents and infiltrates your dorm, it’s bad. There’s no denying that our air STINKS!
Junior Carrie Teti is the Arts and Leisure editor. Her email is cteti@fandm.edu.