By Abigail Glickman || Onion Dip Editor

Lancaster is at the heart of many American college students’ right of passage moments: soft pretzels at Central Market, awkward Mean Cup run-ins on a Saturday morning, and getting your car totaled by drunk drivers! What a family-orientated college town.

It seems the new trend within this wonderful city is to drive drunk! Within the past week, there have been at least two separate accidents of locals wrecking students’ cars. The first one was on West Liberty Street, not only wrecking one car but at least three. I just really love how community-based Lancaster is, where you can get to know the locals on an insurance level. Everyone is just super independent. Why use Uber when you can drive yourself home? Okay, you had 3 too many beers, who cares! You are a strong, brave, BOLD, individual. I respect the determination.

If anything, these free-spirited people are doing you a favor. Instead of focusing on your school work, you now have to file an insurance claim. The essay can wait, but your increasing debt will most certainly not! How kind of the locals to give you a taste of the real world. Isn’t that what college is all about? Now, you know how to report an accident and have your day completely ruined. 

It was reported that from 2009 to 2018, about 3,697 people died due to drunk driving in Pennsylvania. In Maine, it was reported to be around 440. Pennsylvania has more than 8 times the deaths due to drunk driving. Pennsylvania knows how to make a brand for itself. Always pushing the limits. Thank YOU, Lancaster. You can’t beat us! Go birds!! Too soon…?

Many people think Lancaster is just a place to get really good furniture and the worst cell reception. While this may be true, we have many other hidden gems. Back-in-parking only on College Avenue? How unique. Cute street names? Not going to lie, we do. Walnut? Lemon? CHESTNUT? Come on. Drunk driving? SMASH! Literally.

As much as I love sarcasm and satire, I would like to end with a PSA. Drunk driving is extremely dangerous and something to be taken seriously.  Even though this was a joke, the amount of drunk driving accidents that are increasing within the city is concerning. You have heard it a million times but never go behind the wheel if you have consumed any ~ fun ~ drinks. Never get in a car if the driver has. To everyone who has gotten their car wrecked, I send my condolences. And to everyone who has lost someone due to someone’s selfishness and ignorance, it should have never happened and I’m sorry for your loss. I hope this helps spread awareness. 

Junior Abigail Glickman is The Onion Dip Editor. Her email is