Predicting Summer 2021 Fashion Trends
By Maddie Shaw || Layout Assistant Summer can’t come soon enough. Sunny, Zoom-free days are soon approaching, so it’s...
Tag: The Onion Dip
PSA: Don’t Befriend Seniors
By Anna Synakh || Managing Editor Dear Freshman and Sophomore Classes, I am jealous. I am so deeply jealous...
Onion Dip: American Families’ Ancient Thanksgiving Traditions Explored
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist Every year it’s the same; you get out of bed at an unreasonable...
Onion Dip: Senior forgoes buying textbooks and puts saved money towards rehab he’ll eventually need postgrad
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist If you’re wondering why every Brother of Chi Chi Chi fraternity’s back problems...
Onion Dip: A Shakespearean quarrel breaks out in Lancaster when members of feuding dive bars hook up
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist What they thought would be just another Friday night at a frat, blossomed...
Male student refuses to wear bra until Trump is out of office as a form of feminist solidarity
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist Life can be trying for women in today’s political climate. Feeling oppressed,...
Recent Philosophy grad burns diploma to in a statement to prove that he truly knows nothing
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist Recent Philosophy grad burns diploma in a statement to prove that he truly...
Student worker makes the most of stagnant summer internship with online dating apps
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist During an interview about student involvement on campus over the summer, rising junior,...
Fraternity president denies accusations of sexism claiming he watches Comedy Central’s Broad City
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist In response to the rumors circulating campus, Fraternity president, Westwood Vanderbilt III,...
The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced...