The Onion Dip:Proper Popcorn Etiquette
By Lily Vining || Contributing Writer Freshman year of college is full of countless firsts. This is the year that many young adults first experience living on their own and…
The independent student newspaper of Franklin & Marshall College
By Lily Vining || Contributing Writer Freshman year of college is full of countless firsts. This is the year that many young adults first experience living on their own and…
By Diana Lichtenstein || Satirical Columnist If you aren’t sitting down, please do, for I have some frightening news. According to Google, the cuffing season starts in October and ends…
By Tess Fiumefreddo || Satirical Columnist Picture this: a hot, sunny day at Franklin & Marshall College. Birds are chirping, kids are laughing, and parents are sobbing over their children…
KT Thomas || satirical Columnist Some say it was the overcast, chilly day. Others blame the stress of making it to class on time. But, inside sources state that the…
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist We often consider the effects drugs have on mankind, but what happens when mankind’s best friend gets hooked? For years, Detection Dogs, otherwise known…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced to forgo his quest for a “Myrtle bod” primarily because he…
By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of the need-based aid trend, caused a stir in the academic world…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic tendencies and overwhelming likelihood to black-out when he drinks is most…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid” kid who has been repeatedly approached by his professors about participating…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President Dan Porterfield posted on his Facebook wall last Tuesday for his…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Jenna Robertson, a junior pre-med student from Glastonbury, Connecticut, confided to her three best friends in her sorority that she doesn’t believe white privilege…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has been extremely disappointed with the lack of snowfall in Lancaster this…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday morning, the guilt of jokingly voting for President-elect Donald Trump finally…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — Sources report that Franklin and Marshall College Junior Brendan Brandonburger stole the “dopest” sign in hopes of adding it to his…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist WASHINGTON— While gardening is being commercialized alone, like growing monterey oak trees for sale, the POTUS takes it personally. Sources close to President Obama…