The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced...
The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic...
The Onion Dip: Trump press conference gives shy student confidence to participate in class By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid”...
Student reconsiders future after college president posts on Facebook wall for birthday By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President...
The Onion Dip: Lack of snow this season frustrates local global warming denier By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has...
The Onion Dip: Franklin & Marshall student really regrets jokingly voting for Trump By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday...
Student steals totally “dope” road sign for his dorm room By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — Sources report that Franklin and Marshall College Junior Brendan Brandonburger...
Trump supporter feels silenced at F&M’s recent Day of Dialogue By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Matt Jones, a local Franklin & Marshall student, felt uncomfortable expressing...
Donald Trump’s vocabulary, word choice wins over Bigley By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — “I never imagined I’d run for office,” Bigley chuckled, “That...
The Onion Dip: Nearing end of second term, President Obama having trouble delegating authority By David Martin || Satirical Columnist WASHINGTON—Sources close to President Obama report that, lately, POTUS has had a lot...