Q: Why an advice column?

A: Because quarantine is boring as shit, and I know you all have questions but can’t muster up the courage to ask them publicly (says the anonymous writer).

Q: Wasn’t there an advice column in the past?

A: Yes, and it sucked. Next question?

Q: Are you going to know who we are?

A: Of course not, honey. Unless you want the credit for all your dirty little secrets, there’s no need to tell me who you are. The only people who can get that information are at Google, but I’m sure the lot of you have already surrendered your privacy to those guys anyway, so you can rest assured, your questions will be anonymous.

Q: Are we ever going to know who you are?

A: I’m not sure, yet. But I’ll let you know when I decide.

Q: Is this going to be like those love-advice columns, or is this different?

A: Well, that depends on you guys. I’m just here to listen and lend some words. The truth is, I’ve got advice on sex, drugs, orgasms, dating, bitchy friends, how to avoid your racist uncle during the holidays, and anything else your little hearts desire. You just need to be gutsy enough to ask the questions. I’m not going to be cocky and say my advice is better than the next guy’s, but I aim for honesty, and if you’re here for it, I’m giving it.

Q: What makes you qualified to give us advice?

A: I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

Q: What happens if you give us bad advice?

A: As long as I never hear the word advice again, I won’t.

Q: How do I submit my questions?

A: Use the fun little link to an anonymous google form and ask away.

Use this form to submit questions for Dear Elle.