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By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist

It has come to my attention that a whopping number of 14 new members have rushed and joined the two active frats on our campus. I am sure that this will send a positive message to other men interested in joining. How could it not? If I was a freshman dude with only two frats to choose from, I would think that a pledge class of seven kids is plenty! This number of members is perfect for carpool rides, everyone fit in UberXLs, and the family lines will be so large. Plus, that is the perfect number to sit socially distanced on Hartman and toss around a football or whatever.

The administration has made it clear that they love Greek life, and with each chapter dwindling day by day, it just foreshadows a beautiful future of frat appreciation on this campus. Doing everything remotely and virtually is so much more unique, anyways. I’m sure these men will barely notice a difference! They will receive a fulfilling and invigorating experience. Those dues are well worth it. Virtual super bowl: I’m sold. Virtual barbeques and other dude stuff like March Madness bracket betting will all be so fun! 

I bet that next year’s pledge classes will be even smaller and better! I cannot wait to see what other frats will pop up next year! Who knows? Maybe by next year, there will only be one active chapter! You truly never know with F&M. 

Junior Diana Lichtenstein is the Onion Dip Columnist. Her email is