Why am I Seeing the Same Number of Emails?
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Breaking news! F&M enforced a new email policy where students aren’t allowed to send…
Battle of the Mascots
Junior Carrie Teti is the Arts & Leisure Editor for The College Reporter. Her email is cteti@fandm.edu.
New Club Spotlight: The Off-Campus Club
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Are you a senior living in College Row or West James? Have you abandoned…
Wellness Center Closed on the Weekends: How This Betters the Lives of Students
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a month ago, I moved into F&M. A few days in, following endless…
This Air STINKS!
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s a cool, crisp Thursday morning in mid-September, and you’re all ready to set…
Should You Spend on the Vend?
Photo courtesy of Nora Williams. The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. That deep blue neon lighting casts its light out…
Social Media is Kinda Horrid
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. About a week ago, rumors started spreading that TikTok would be shutting down. Again.…
Kiwibots: National Hockey League, Harvard, and Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Last semester, The College Reporter published an investigative video by Berkley Frost exploring the…
I Took the Drunk Bus to Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I took the drunk bus this weekend. I don’t know why I did it.…
What is Wrong With the Buildings at F&M?!
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. I would like to preface this article by saying that, yes, I was that…
The 2024 Diplomat’s Guide to Academic Excellence and Wild Nights
Photo courtesy of Adam Whitlock via Unsplash. The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Welcome back Diplomats to the Spring 2024…
So, You Want to Join X in 2024? Here’s What You Should Know.
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. So, you want to join Twitter, one of the largest social media platforms in…
A New Connection
Dear Diary, I’ve found my husband. He’s perfect if perfect is even possible – he’s made me think it is. He goes to a college nearby, and we have 96…
Welcome, Diplomats!
It’s that time of year! Target is packed with dorm essentials you’ll purchase in bulk and then leave to gather dust under your painfully elevated bed. The dining hall is…
The Onion Dip: Missing Persons Report
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon us… William Shakespeare is missing. Height: 6 foot Weight: Paper…