The Onion Dip: Missing Persons Report
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon…
The One True D1 Sport.
By Tira Mercadante || Op-Ed Layout Assistant If you haven’t heard by now, Franklin & Marshall has its own Surf…
Hot New Food Account Alert: @samimakesfoodsamieatsfood
By Samantha Milowitz || Op-Eds Editor Hi guys! Sami here! Welcome to my new food account on Insta!!!! For those…
Frats are Thriving on F&M’s Campus
By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist It has come to my attention that a whopping number of 14 new…
Who Needs the Music Program Anyways?
By Fiorella Comparini Donoso || Contributing Writer Due to the global pandemic, F&M has been scrounging for pennies recently. I…
Why You Should Date A Townie
By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist Who is a “townie” exactly? Well, Urban Dictionary defines a townie as, “a…
In The Event of a Pandemic
By Samantha Milowitz || Op-Eds Editor Hi there! Are you an incoming senior in college? Having a good time, cruising…
The Onion Dip:Proper Popcorn Etiquette
By Lily Vining || Contributing Writer Freshman year of college is full of countless firsts. This is the year that…
This Just In: Cuffing Season Conflicts with J-Term
By Diana Lichtenstein || Satirical Columnist If you aren’t sitting down, please do, for I have some frightening news. According…
Welcome to Water World
By Tess Fiumefreddo || Satirical Columnist Picture this: a hot, sunny day at Franklin & Marshall College. Birds are chirping,…
The Onion Dip: Silent Protest Quelled with Water Balloons Thrown from Old Main
KT Thomas || satirical Columnist Some say it was the overcast, chilly day. Others blame the stress of making it…
Onion Dip: Rates of Addiction Skyrocket in German Shepherds Following ‘Drug Detection Dog’ Training
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist We often consider the effects drugs have on mankind, but what happens when mankind’s…
The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced to…
In light of academic studies, financial benefits, llamas will soon replace public safety officers
By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of the…
The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic tendencies…