The Real Rich Rush…
It’s official, sororities and fraternities have given out bids and new members are officially being initiated! We asked for an update from the president of the Alpha Ligma Zeta. He…
Idol!!
In the latest round of F&M idol, a surprise guest made an appearance. Lorde shushed the Chessmen! They were serenading during her number and she shushed the shit out of…
It’s a girl!
That’s right, the man, the myth and the legend had a baby. Punksatawny Phil has reproduced! When asked by insiders about his new child, he had this to say, “spring…
Ultimate Guide to Being a Good Taken Friend on Valentine’s Day!
Miss Guidance is the newest and most effective way to get advice on anything you need! Whether it be about school, friends, love life or the best washing machine on…
I Saw the Jonas Brothers at the Local Waffle House
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. We’ve all been there. It’s 2 a.m. on a Saturday, you were kicked out…
Checking in with F&M’s Class of 2025
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s been about two months since Franklin & Marshall’s class of 2025 walked triumphantly…
F&M Awards PhDs (No Grad School Required)
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Here at Franklin and Marshall College, an undergraduate institution located in Amish Country, Pennsylvania,…
Why am I Seeing the Same Number of Emails?
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Breaking news! F&M enforced a new email policy where students aren’t allowed to send…
What to Get Your Situationship: Valentine’s Day Edition
Image Courtesy of Creative Commons The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Looking for a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift for that…
Goose on the Loose!
Hello, students of F&M! I’m the goose who spent the weekend hanging around your campus! It was a pleasure getting to know some of you from afar. If you don’t…
Battle of the Mascots
Junior Carrie Teti is the Arts & Leisure Editor for The College Reporter. Her email is cteti@fandm.edu.
We Need Global Warming, It’s Freezing
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. On January 19th, 2025, something tragic happened. A winter storm has arrived in Lancaster,…
New Club Spotlight: The Off-Campus Club
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. Are you a senior living in College Row or West James? Have you abandoned…
Ruins of Registration
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. At almost midnight on several early November nights, it was silent at Franklin and…
Am I the Only One Still Voting for Biden?
The Onion Dip Column is the satire section. All articles are not to be taken seriously. It’s election season, and it seems like all anyone can talk about is who…