By Abigail Glickman || Onion Dip Editor
I think one of the most beautiful traditions within America is watching the Olympics. It brings the country together to root for our athletes and pauses the divisions within our country for a moment. We all wanted Mikaela Shiffron to get that third gold medal for slalom skiing and I can almost guarantee all of our jaws dropped when she fell on her fourth flag (if you don’t know what I am talking about, tune into the Olympics and pay attention to the world around you xoxo). However, it is almost RICH in the ways we watch the Olympics coming from Americans.
Here we are with our families and friends gathered around the TV. Sweatpants and sweatshirts on. Not moving for the next 3 hours, glued to the screen. About three-fourths done with our Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ben & Jerry’s pint; having three bowls of different types of potato chips in front of us. Screaming at the top of our lungs when someone is a fourth of a second behind in bobsledding. I mean, how could they be off by that much when they are representing their nation? Do they not have any respect for their country? Do they not have any pride in themselves? It truly baffles me how they even look at themselves in the mirror after the event.
What sport really shows patriotism? Figure skating. This sport incites a whole new wave of reactions. Never before in my life have I seen grown men get so passionate about twirls. I mean, if you can’t stick the landing of a Triple Axel, why are you even in the Olympics? Disgraceful. Oh, you fell after not the Salchow? Get off the team. You didn’t attempt to do that fourth turn in the air? Child’s play. Like, it’s the Olympics, come on! You really can’t manage to find your balance after being lunged in the air and landing on two thin pieces of metal on a slippery surface while the whole world is watching you? Have you ever heard that practice makes perfect? Maybe look into that idk lol….
I say all of my comments to the TV with complete and utter confidence. I sit there on the couch, not even being able to successfully skate around a rink without falling, thinking I could easily do their routines. It can’t be thattt hard, and with a little practice I could easily learn how to do the Biellmann spin. What does it take? One hour on the rink to learn? Light work. Like, okay, I’ll volunteer as tribute and take one for the country. Don’t worry, I got you guys.
It’s not that hard. Just like, do better?
Sophomore Abigail Glickman is the Onion Dip Columnist. Her email is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Photo courtesy of her.ie.com