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March 5, 2021
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Tag: The Onion Dip

Onion Dip: American Families’ Ancient Thanksgiving Traditions Explored

By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist  Every year it’s the same; you get out of bed at an unreasonable...
The Onion Dip

Onion Dip: Senior forgoes buying textbooks and puts saved money towards rehab he’ll eventually need postgrad

By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist If you’re wondering why every Brother of Chi Chi Chi fraternity’s back problems...
The Onion Dip

Onion Dip: A Shakespearean quarrel breaks out in Lancaster when members of feuding dive bars hook up

By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist What they thought would be just another Friday night at a frat, blossomed...
The Onion Dip

Male student refuses to wear bra until Trump is out of office as a form of feminist solidarity

By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist   Life can be trying for women in today’s political climate. Feeling oppressed,...
The Onion Dip

Recent Philosophy grad burns diploma to in a statement to prove that he truly knows nothing

By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist Recent Philosophy grad burns diploma in a statement to prove that he truly...
The Onion Dip

Student worker makes the most of stagnant summer internship with online dating apps

By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist During an interview about student involvement on campus over the summer, rising junior,...
The Onion Dip

Fraternity president denies accusations of sexism claiming he watches Comedy Central’s Broad City

By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist   In response to the rumors circulating campus, Fraternity president, Westwood Vanderbilt III,...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year

By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced...
The Onion Dip

In light of academic studies, financial benefits, llamas will soon replace public safety officers

By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression

By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic...
The Onion Dip
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