By Abigail Glickman || The Onion Dip Editor

With the recent Silicon Valley Bank failure, people are beginning to question what banks to trust and how to prevent another Depression. However, I would argue that people are merely looking in the wrong direction. There is an age-old debate of whether using cash to purchase items actually counts as buying anything; but, I strongly believe that it doesn’t. Simply, if you use cash, you are not spending money. If you use a card, either debit or credit, that is when the true transaction occurs.

As my father has always said, cash is king. And it is. Why? Because you never spend any money! Oh, you think I’m wrong? Pull up the receipts… yeah, that’s right. You can’t. Don’t even try. I will win. There is no guilt in using cash because after the deed is done, out of sight out of mind. Since every student at F&M is either a BOS or Psychology major, half of you will understand – no more object permanence! If you can’t see it, it never happened. Adult peek-a-boo if you will. When you go into your bank account and see that the gleaming $23 is still there, you know you did a good service. You know you are being a good citizen, supporting businesses, yet you don’t have to reap the damages.

This is where it gets a little dicey. I know, what about inflation? What about stocks crashing and all of that? Well, take a seat. I have just the right solution. Print. More. Money. Like, if we are going into another recession, just make.. more? Paper may be bad for the environment, but if we are running out of money, then just print more. I really do not see the problem with that. If there is a shortage of money, then the government should get on that and turn on the printer.

“It takes two pennies to make one penny.” Shut up. Who told you that? Have YOU ever made a penny? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Grow up and realize your privilege in life. If you want to run with the big dogs, you have to be able to see beyond your little bubble of the world. Realize how the government actually works. Think beyond the country’s borders and how everything is connected. Oh, you took an economics class in high school and are now a BOS major, wanting to work in finance? Ironic that you do not see the simple solution. Your dad is a hedge fund manager, so he got you that summer internship in NYC and now you think you know all the rules of the stock market? Clearly, you do not. You are a nepo baby.

Paying with cash will solve all the country’s problems since you are not actually spending any money and it will reduce inflation. It promotes privacy, never leaving a trace of where you went. It is the burner phone of economics. With all of the electronic footprints we are leaving, it is time to reconnect with nature. China tracking your data on TikTok (or maybe they are not, I’m not claiming anything, please do not come after me)? Reduce your phone pings across the map. Get off the grid. All in all, cash is king. 

Junior Abigail Glickman is The Onion Dip Editor. Her email is