The Onion Dip: Silent Protest Quelled with Water Balloons Thrown from Old Main
KT Thomas || satirical Columnist Some say it was the overcast, chilly day. Others blame the stress of making it…
Onion Dip: American Families’ Ancient Thanksgiving Traditions Explored
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist Every year it’s the same; you get out of bed at an unreasonable hour…
Onion Dip: Rates of Addiction Skyrocket in German Shepherds Following ‘Drug Detection Dog’ Training
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist We often consider the effects drugs have on mankind, but what happens when mankind’s…
Onion Dip: Senior forgoes buying textbooks and puts saved money towards rehab he’ll eventually need postgrad
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist If you’re wondering why every Brother of Chi Chi Chi fraternity’s back problems have…
Onion Dip: A Shakespearean quarrel breaks out in Lancaster when members of feuding dive bars hook up
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist What they thought would be just another Friday night at a frat, blossomed into…
Male student refuses to wear bra until Trump is out of office as a form of feminist solidarity
By Kt Thomas || Satirical Columnist Life can be trying for women in today’s political climate. Feeling oppressed, silenced,…
Recent Philosophy grad burns diploma to in a statement to prove that he truly knows nothing
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist Recent Philosophy grad burns diploma in a statement to prove that he truly knows…
Student worker makes the most of stagnant summer internship with online dating apps
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist During an interview about student involvement on campus over the summer, rising junior, Laura…
Fraternity president denies accusations of sexism claiming he watches Comedy Central’s Broad City
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist In response to the rumors circulating campus, Fraternity president, Westwood Vanderbilt III, called…