By Abigail Glickman || Contributing Writer
Captain Hook, Joe Exotic, and whipped coffee all hold a special place in everyone’s hearts that will never be forgotten. Quarantine was a time when everyone found new hobbies they never knew they liked, spent a lot of “quality” time with their family, and eased everyone’s FOMO. Introverts were at their peak during quarantine, while extroverts were yearning for something. Now that the time has finally arrived where the extroverts are on top again, is it really that amazing…?
Do we now have to actually speak to people? We now have to actually wear real pants and not just lounge in pajamas?? Putrid. Make ourselves somewhat presentable? Vile. Not to mention how amazing it was being 6ft apart and getting the best personal space everywhere. For the love of God please wear deodorant, to the girls that think “oh I’ll just spritz some Victoria’s Secret Bombshell and be okay”. No. No, you will most certainly not “be okay”. Everyone in line at Blueline can smell that two-day expired shower that you cover up with dry shampoo, even through the masks. Learn proper hygiene.
What is even more concerning is all the new sanitary precautions to stop the spread. They almost seem… like they should have been there in the first place? Wiping down a machine after getting your sweat all over a treadmill just seems like human decency. Actually covering your sneeze in your elbow is probably the bottom of the bucket of manners. It is the BARE minimum we are asking for. This is the first time these procedures have been done since Britney had her breakdown in 2007. Praying for you girl.
Getting back to normal life has slowly made us all miss the days when the biggest problem was deciding which brave soldier of the family would have to go grocery shopping for the week. Now, we have been slapped in the face with never-ending tests, quizzes, and school obligations. Actual responsibilities. No, thank you! And not to mention, TikTok had the best videos then because everyone had nothing else to do. And the memes? Impeccable. I miss the days of seeing the edits of Kim Jong-un’s sister coming to power and everyone thinking he died. How did that even start?! Anyway, quarantine sucked for a lot of reasons and forever changed everyone’s lives. But even through all the badness that it brought, it allowed for an escape from reality. It allowed people to be free from all the never-ending, would you just shut up already small talk. To sign off, I’ll leave you with one of the most inspirational quotes Joe Exotic has left us with that pretty much sums him up, “I’m Joe Exotic, otherwise known as the Tiger King, the gay, gun-carrying redneck with a mullet”.
Sophomore Abigail Glickman is a Contributing Writer. Her email is email@example.com