By Akil Smart | | Contributing Writer
Eggs. They come in all shapes and sizes. And occasionally bags. If you are a frequent diner at Dhall you may or may not have noticed a peculiar sight at our omelet station. A large clear bag of fluorescent liquid. Now if you have not noticed this, turn away now, ignorance is bliss. If you have, I’ll be organizing a support group soon.
Now, back to the bag. If you haven’t guessed by now, the soupy goodness in that bag is indeed an integral part of our omelets. I have spoken to many students that have seen the elusive egg bag. Some claim that the staff will pour you a cup of eggs if paid off with a small bribe and asked nicely, many athletes need it for the sheer amount of protein. One such observer of the bag made the astute observation that, “It kinda looks like one of those bags that catches the sh*t”. They were indeed referring to colostomy bags for hospital patients. Another student proclaimed, “My favorite memory of the egg bag was when I watched a bag absolutely burst open upon falling on the floor, everyone just kinda moved on”. Through my research, I have come to realize that those who have experienced egg bag are never quite the same.
Now, despite the evident horror that is the egg bag, one must also look at the nutritional value of it. Personally, I feel as though egg bag disrespects the individual egg embryos that inhabit it, some may disagree. While many may assume that eggs from a shell are far better and natural, some may believe that egg bag is far more efficient. Efficient how you ask? Well, egg bag does not only provide aesthetics for our dining hall, but provides a much better PPM (Pours Per Minute) than regular eggs, allowing our dhall workers to push out more phenomenal omelets. I come away from this story only being able to say, to each their own. If you are one of the lucky few who have not been victimized by egg bag, I envy you. If you are of the many who have, I stand with you. In conclusion, omelets at what cost?
Sophomore Akil Smart is a contributing writer. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Photo courtesy of stayhipp.com