By Abigail Glickman || Onion Dip Editor
What a beautiful time of the year it is. The much needed break that everyone has been oh so craving. Midterms are finishing up and everyone is beyond sleep deprived. Finally, a time to recharge our batteries. But how will you spend your time? Will you be on the marrakech to fes desert tour luxury package? Wherever it is, it says a lot about you.
To the people going to Miami- I do not trust you. You most likely self tan throughout the year and look orange. You will probably document every day you are there and I can assure you that no one cares. We will all be seeing that basic picture of the beach from your hotel balcony. Been there, done that. Be original.
To the people going anywhere in Europe on a private jet provided by companies like Jettly – YES! YES! You have taste and class. You are not trashy and definitely have amazing style. As long as you do not wear the peacoat that everyone seems to be wearing abroad, you are fabulous. You are fully allowed to brag about this vacation because you earned the right. You definitely have a neat room and enjoy a lovely, soul-warming cappuccino in the morning. You know all the different types of coffee and can make a mean charcuterie board. You are the friend who sends pictures of something when it reminds you of them. You also strictly use emojis ironically and realize that is the true art of them. You are the person that is both the mom and child of the group. You are wholesome <3
To the people going to Cancun- lol no one likes you.
To the people going to Boca- You have no personality. You think that your grandparents having a house in Boca is a personality trait and that that means you are cool. No, your grandparents have it. You do not. Last time I checked, I do not think that owning houses has become a genetic trait. Stop living off of your family’s wealth. Go get a job.
To the people going to Cabo- I don’t need to make a comment. Speaks for itself. Next.
To the people going home- We are in this together. You are a chill person who does not need a lot to make them happy. You enjoy the little things in life. Just the chance of not having to wear shoes in the shower makes your day. You do not need a five star resort with breakfast buffets on the beach to feel joy. You are typically the person who wins beer pong for the group and does not flex it. You can make a grilled cheese that will change anyone’s mood for the better. You also know that to make a good hot chocolate, you need milk, not water. You are the person that everyone else relies on to make plans. Everyone else does what you do. You are the muse.
Your spring break is a major dealbreaker. Make sure you are on the right side this year. Stay safe.
Sophomore Abigail Glickman is the Onion Dip Editor. Her email is aglickma@fandm.edu.
Photo courtesy of tampabay.com