The Onion Dip: Lack of snow this season frustrates local global warming denier
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has been…
The Onion Dip: Franklin & Marshall student really regrets jokingly voting for Trump
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday morning,…
Student steals totally “dope” road sign for his dorm room
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — Sources report that Franklin and Marshall College Junior Brendan Brandonburger stole…
Trump supporter feels silenced at F&M’s recent Day of Dialogue
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Matt Jones, a local Franklin & Marshall student, felt uncomfortable expressing his…
Donald Trump’s vocabulary, word choice wins over Bigley
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — “I never imagined I’d run for office,” Bigley chuckled, “That all…
The Onion Dip: Nearing end of second term, President Obama having trouble delegating authority
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist WASHINGTON— While gardening is being commercialized alone, like growing monterey oak trees for sale,…
The Onion Dip: Local student takes matters into own hands
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—“I pay sixty-f—ing-grand to go here” stated local Franklin and Marshall College student Ryan…
The Onion Dip: Known frat star reportedly ‘not that bad’
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—F&M student Raymond Charles was caught off guard during his 11 o’clock statistics class,…