The Onion Dip: Missing Persons Report
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon…
The independent student newspaper of Franklin & Marshall College
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon…
By Fiorella Comparini Donoso || Contributing Writer Due to the global pandemic, F&M has been scrounging for pennies recently. I…
By Tess Fiumefreddo || Satirical Columnist Picture this: a hot, sunny day at Franklin & Marshall College. Birds are chirping,…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced to…
By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of the…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic tendencies…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid” kid…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President Dan…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has been…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday morning,…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — Sources report that Franklin and Marshall College Junior Brendan Brandonburger stole…
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Matt Jones, a local Franklin & Marshall student, felt uncomfortable expressing his…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA — “I never imagined I’d run for office,” Bigley chuckled, “That all…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist WASHINGTON— While gardening is being commercialized alone, like growing monterey oak trees for sale,…
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—“I pay sixty-f—ing-grand to go here” stated local Franklin and Marshall College student Ryan…