In light of academic studies, financial benefits, llamas will soon replace public safety officers
By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of the…
The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic tendencies…
The Onion Dip: Trump press conference gives shy student confidence to participate in class
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid” kid…
Student reconsiders future after college president posts on Facebook wall for birthday
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President Dan…
The Onion Dip: Nearing end of second term, President Obama having trouble delegating authority
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist WASHINGTON— While gardening is being commercialized alone, like growing monterey oak trees for sale,…
The Onion Dip: Local student takes matters into own hands
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—“I pay sixty-f—ing-grand to go here” stated local Franklin and Marshall College student Ryan…
The Onion Dip: Known frat star reportedly ‘not that bad’
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—F&M student Raymond Charles was caught off guard during his 11 o’clock statistics class,…