Student worker makes the most of stagnant summer internship with online dating apps By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist During an interview about student involvement on campus over the summer, rising junior,...
Fraternity president denies accusations of sexism claiming he watches Comedy Central’s Broad City By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist In response to the rumors circulating campus, Fraternity president, Westwood Vanderbilt III,...
The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced...
In light of academic studies, financial benefits, llamas will soon replace public safety officers By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of...
The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic...
The Onion Dip: Trump press conference gives shy student confidence to participate in class By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid”...
Student reconsiders future after college president posts on Facebook wall for birthday By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President...
The Onion Dip: Struggling white upper-middle class student disproves white privilege By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Jenna Robertson, a junior pre-med student from Glastonbury, Connecticut, confided to her three...
The Onion Dip: Lack of snow this season frustrates local global warming denier By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has...
The Onion Dip: Franklin & Marshall student really regrets jokingly voting for Trump By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday...