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February 28, 2021
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Category: The Onion Dip

Student worker makes the most of stagnant summer internship with online dating apps

By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist During an interview about student involvement on campus over the summer, rising junior,...
The Onion Dip

Fraternity president denies accusations of sexism claiming he watches Comedy Central’s Broad City

By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist   In response to the rumors circulating campus, Fraternity president, Westwood Vanderbilt III,...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year

By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced...
The Onion Dip

In light of academic studies, financial benefits, llamas will soon replace public safety officers

By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression

By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Trump press conference gives shy student confidence to participate in class

By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid”...
The Onion Dip

Student reconsiders future after college president posts on Facebook wall for birthday

By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Struggling white upper-middle class student disproves white privilege

By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist  LANCASTER—Jenna Robertson, a junior pre-med student from Glastonbury, Connecticut, confided to her three...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Lack of snow this season frustrates local global warming denier

By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has...
The Onion Dip

The Onion Dip: Franklin & Marshall student really regrets jokingly voting for Trump

By David Martin || Satirical Columnist  LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday...
The Onion Dip
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