Student worker makes the most of stagnant summer internship with online dating apps
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist During an interview about student involvement on campus over the summer, rising junior,...
Category: The Onion Dip
Fraternity president denies accusations of sexism claiming he watches Comedy Central’s Broad City
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist In response to the rumors circulating campus, Fraternity president, Westwood Vanderbilt III,...
The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced...
In light of academic studies, financial benefits, llamas will soon replace public safety officers
By Kyle Huntzberry & David Martin || Satirical Columnists LANCASTER — Franklin & Marshall College, who is at the forefront of...
The Onion Dip: Psychology major well aware that blacking out is a sign of depression
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER — Local F&M student and Psychology major Jeremy Park is well-aware that his alcoholic...
The Onion Dip: Trump press conference gives shy student confidence to participate in class
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Rick Whittaker, a junior at Franklin & Marshall College, is a ”shy, timid”...
Student reconsiders future after college president posts on Facebook wall for birthday
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Franklin and Marshall College student Will Bradley was reportedly thrilled when College President...
The Onion Dip: Struggling white upper-middle class student disproves white privilege
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER—Jenna Robertson, a junior pre-med student from Glastonbury, Connecticut, confided to her three...
The Onion Dip: Lack of snow this season frustrates local global warming denier
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Herbie Henderson, a local Trump supporter and climate change skeptic, has...
The Onion Dip: Franklin & Marshall student really regrets jokingly voting for Trump
By David Martin || Satirical Columnist LANCASTER, PA— Crying profusely on the way to his first class on Wednesday...