A New Connection
Dear Diary, I’ve found my husband. He’s perfect if perfect is even possible – he’s made me think it is. He goes to a college nearby, and we have 96…
Welcome, Diplomats!
It’s that time of year! Target is packed with dorm essentials you’ll purchase in bulk and then leave to gather dust under your painfully elevated bed. The dining hall is…
The Onion Dip: Missing Persons Report
By Anonymous Here ye, here ye, the Campus Cryer has an important announcement. The biggest scandal since 1564 is upon us… William Shakespeare is missing. Height: 6 foot Weight: Paper…
The One True D1 Sport.
By Tira Mercadante || Op-Ed Layout Assistant If you haven’t heard by now, Franklin & Marshall has its own Surf Team. I had the amazing opportunity to get to know…
Hot New Food Account Alert: @samimakesfoodsamieatsfood
By Samantha Milowitz || Op-Eds Editor Hi guys! Sami here! Welcome to my new food account on Insta!!!! For those that are new here, let me catch you up to…
Frats are Thriving on F&M’s Campus
By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist It has come to my attention that a whopping number of 14 new members have rushed and joined the two active frats on…
Who Needs the Music Program Anyways?
By Fiorella Comparini Donoso || Contributing Writer Due to the global pandemic, F&M has been scrounging for pennies recently. I knew things were going downhill when the upperclassmen told me…
Why You Should Date A Townie
By Diana Lichtenstein || Onion Dip Columnist Who is a “townie” exactly? Well, Urban Dictionary defines a townie as, “a person living in the community who does not attend or…
In The Event of a Pandemic
By Samantha Milowitz || Op-Eds Editor Hi there! Are you an incoming senior in college? Having a good time, cruising along; you’ve made your friends, you see the light at…
The Onion Dip:Proper Popcorn Etiquette
By Lily Vining || Contributing Writer Freshman year of college is full of countless firsts. This is the year that many young adults first experience living on their own and…
This Just In: Cuffing Season Conflicts with J-Term
By Diana Lichtenstein || Satirical Columnist If you aren’t sitting down, please do, for I have some frightening news. According to Google, the cuffing season starts in October and ends…
Welcome to Water World
By Tess Fiumefreddo || Satirical Columnist Picture this: a hot, sunny day at Franklin & Marshall College. Birds are chirping, kids are laughing, and parents are sobbing over their children…
The Onion Dip: Silent Protest Quelled with Water Balloons Thrown from Old Main
KT Thomas || satirical Columnist Some say it was the overcast, chilly day. Others blame the stress of making it to class on time. But, inside sources state that the…
Onion Dip: Rates of Addiction Skyrocket in German Shepherds Following ‘Drug Detection Dog’ Training
By KT Thomas || Satirical Columnist We often consider the effects drugs have on mankind, but what happens when mankind’s best friend gets hooked? For years, Detection Dogs, otherwise known…
The Onion Dip: Student decides that his “Myrtle bod” has to wait until next year
By Kyle Huntzberry || Satirical Columnist Zach Jones, a sophomore BOS major and member of Greek life, was forced to forgo his quest for a “Myrtle bod” primarily because he…